Doulas Support Dads
In my experience, Dads require support during labour and postpartum almost as much as mums do, their needs are just different and not always recognised.
Some partners are reluctant to have an outsider at their birth. They worry they won't be needed if there is another support person involved. To the contrary, most couples, after the birth, express how much they appreciated having an experienced support person, and how it contributed to having a more positive birth outcome.
I support the Dads during pregnancy to discover the role they would like to take during the birth of their baby. I teach couples skills they can use to enhance and ease the labour process. Dads enjoy learning practical skills that they can practice during pregnancy with their partners and later use in labour.
During labour, I support the Dads with gentle informative communication. Most Dads appreciate a little guidance from their doula, especially when everything is so different to what they were expecting.
If Dad needs a break, I can support Mum while he is resting, updating family, having a snack or visiting the bathroom. So often Dads feel guilty and unsure about leaving their partner's side during labour. This guilt is often alleviated when the couple have me at their side.
During pregnancy and labour, I inform the parents about how to navigate the hospital, this often removes a lot of the stress from Dad, allowing him to be more relaxed, which is what the birthing Mum needs.
During labour, I explain the benefits, risks and alternatives of the different procedures being offered, so even after labouring for hours, you can make the best decision for you and your family.
Dads often become quite overwhelmed at the intensity of labour. Having me there at your side, helps reassure the Dad that everything is going normally, and his partner is okay. During most hospital births the staff are unfamiliar to you and they may change shifts in the middle of the birth, sometimes numerous times. I will be a continuous and familiar support person. We will have met numerous times before the birth to establish a trusting, respectful relationship.
What the Dads thought
“A natural birth with our second child was very important to us and after having a caesar with our first born this was of great concern. Jodi’s guidance and support during the months of pregnancy was invaluable in helping us prepare for labour and the hospital process. We experienced a long labour with 3 changes in nursing staff and a change in doctors, thus Jodi was essential in giving us the continuity of support and assistance we needed to achieve our goal. Jodi communicated very well with hospital staff and provided us with timely advice at all times. I have no doubt Jodi was an essential part of our successful birth.”
“I found Jodi to be of great assistance to me and Rebecca. It was comforting to have her expertise and knowledge with the entire birthing process. Jodi gave us as much time and knowledge as we needed and I always felt she was there for us no matter what happened. A doula is not only there for the mother to be – but is also a key person for the father to be I felt like I had her support allowing me to focus on my wife and not worry about anything else. Thanks again for helping us on our journey, for being there for us and providing us valuable knowledge through our journey.”
“My wife and I have recently had the pleasure of being able to introduce our first baby girl to the world.
In the lead up and preparation time to our birth we attended a couple of courses to give us the back ground and understanding to achieve the type of birth we wished for.
One was a Calmbirth class, which I highly recommend and the second a breastfeeding and early parenting preparation workshop, which was hosted by Jodi. It was in this class we were introduced to the concept of a Doula and the work that they do.
My feelings walking away from the class were, it’s a great concept but more than likely not for us. The main reason being, I felt we had invested in the two courses already and this natural phenomenon would just take it’s course in the hands of the midwives at the hospital.
A little while later my wife (Clair) came to me and asked if we could get Jodi on board as our doula to assist with our birth.
At this stage I still felt a little skeptical about the necessity, concerned about adding additional meetings into my already busy schedule and if we could truly afford a doula.
At heart I knew it was something my wife felt she needed and concerned with my work schedule it was good to have a backup in case I was caught up when labour began.
We had a couple of catch ups with Jodi in the lead up to the birth. This was mainly to discuss our individual rolls, work out a plan for where we were going to labour and formulate and discuss our ultimate birth plan. Jodi lent us heaps of books and Dvd’s, taught us exercise movements to help support baby’s positioning and showed us our baby’s position in Clair’s belly each time.
At forty-one weeks pregnant, the night finally came when labour begun. I had come home from a massive day at work to find my wife having waves of back pain. In my head I knew it had all started and I was going to be up for a big night. I sent Jodi a txt and let her know things had started and I’d call when we needed her.
Calmly I made dinner and got things prepared so we could leave for the hospital when needed. I then tried my best to get my wife and I to bed, so we would be rested for when we got to the business end.
I have to say it was a full night of massaging, counting contractions, toilet going, minute timing, journey plotting and trying my best to assist Clair with emotional and physical pain.
Needless to say when the sun finally rose the next morning we were completely shattered and I knew I needed the assistance of Jodi.
At this stage Jodi made the suggestion to have a scene change, eat something nourishing and journey to Clair’s Mum’s house. This was all part of the original plan being closer to the hospital and would be a good place to meet.
When we arrived at Clair’s mum’s house I poured a bath and put Clair in it, to help with the now very painful contractions she was experiencing.
When Jodi arrived, she offered to relieve me and I was finally able to get some rest for an hour or so. In that time Jodi managed to relax Clair and got her moving and excepting her contractions. Jodi had totally transformed Clair from fighting this first time pain to moving freely down the path towards giving birth by the time I woke.
Jodi’s experience softly guided both us every step of the way to getting ready to leave for the hospital.
Once we arrived Jodi was our guide to ensuring our dream birth went according to plan.
Needless to say we had the most perfect drug free water birth and Clair only needed to push once!
None of this I believe would have been achievable without the assistance of Jodi. Not only the birth but the days following the birth Jodi was my lifeline in looking after both Clair and our daughter (Mali). Jodi is one of those beings who, through her wealth of knowledge and experience is totally spot on, knowing how to deal with each situation as it arises.
I cannot recommend Jodi and her services highly enough!
I’m glad in this occasion of my life I don’t have to say in hindsight, “I wish we had a doula.” Instead we have the most beautiful memory of our perfect birth and a healthy breastfeeding mum with the most peaceful baby!
Thank you ever so much Jodi !!!!
”
Ryan and Mali