Miscarrying a loved baby is not what any woman wants to experience. With one in five babies passing before 20 weeks gestation many women do experience miscarriages and have varying experiences. Most babies pass before 12 weeks gestation and many pass without women even knowing they have conceived.
In our society, the natural reaction for most women when they see vaginal bleeding or experience cramping while pregnant is to go to their doctor or midwife and make sure everything is okay. If there is reason for concern you will most likely be referred for an ultrasound to make sure your baby is okay. If your baby has died there are varying ways to manage a miscarriage. Waiting or expectant, medical and surgical.
I few weeks ago I received an email from a woman overseas who had recently experienced a medically managed miscarriage. Her experience had been less than positive and she was searching for answers and wanted to know what other options are available should it happen to her again. She wanted to know what my thoughts where on miscarriage. I felt the best way I could share my thoughts was to share my own miscarriage experience.
To set the picture, my miscarriage happened 22 years ago at my home in rural Hawaii, 2.5 hours drive from the nearest hospital. Like many local residents I didn't have the income to pay for medical insurance and there weren't and still aren't any public hospitals like here in Australia. Due to no insurance we often handled medical needs ourselves, including birth and in this case miscarriage.
I started spotting brown blood at around 13 weeks pregnant. I knew this didn't mean my baby had passed but certainly may have. I continued to spot for 10 long days. At that time I didn't even know what the other options were other than stay at home and wait. I read Ina Mays "Spiritual Midwifery" chapter on miscarriage and prepared myself for what may lay ahead. It was a very sad time for not only me but also my husband and daughter. At first I prayed my baby was still alive and I was just having some random spotting. As each day passed and I continued to spot brown blood I became more sure my baby had died and I started to grieve. On the 10th morning of spotting I woke to contractions. The contractions were pretty intense, which I had expected having read Ina Mays book. Ina May had also warned about the amount of blood loss to expect lasting approximately an hour, and not longer than one hour. Thank goodness I had read the book because for one hour I bleed a very large amount of blood, then I passed a little baby. The bleeding immediately slowed right down after the little one passed. To my surprise the next day the process started again and I passed another what seemed to be a little baby. Then the blood slowed down, similar to a period.
In my experience there were many benefits miscarrying naturally at home. I had time to process and grieve the loss of my baby over those 10 long days. I got to experience a short labour which was intense but it helped me emotionally let go of my baby. Due to my miscarriage happening when my body was ready everything released and passed well. It also allowed my husband and daughter to be part of the process and gave them an opportunity to grieve also.
After my miscarriage a midwife friend suggested I wait until my babies were due to be born before I conceived again. She had seen this done before and said it would be great for my body's recovery and sometimes interesting things can occur. I decided to take her advice. Sure enough a very interesting thing did happen. Eight months after my miscarriage, I produced colostrum. What a surprise that was and an amazing thing to experience. My body remembered it had been pregnant. I conceived again shortly afterwards.
We live in a society where we wait for very little. Patience is becoming less prevalent therefore waiting for a baby to pass won't be for everyone. I hope for those women that are interested in knowing their options this article gives you some insight into another way. Like everything in regards to our health, educate yourself so you feel confident and safe in the choices you make.